Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Laugh Love Lose

I rarely laugh and I try to love but have trouble with that sometimes. Losing weight is hard and it rarely happens for me.I am not a very happy person.  Live Laugh Love is more than that though. Tonight I think I am losing it. I am losing the battle of what life is supposed to be like. You're supposed to Live, Laugh, Love, and Lose (in a good way) somewhere in there too. Today was one of the worst days of my life. Not THEE worst, but ranking very high up there.I lost a very important piece of my life.  I lost a lot of friends today. I fear that I have lost one of my best friends. I've thought that for awhile though. I think she drifted away from me but I think she thinks I drifted away from her and what happened today makes it harder for us to be brought back closer together again. We lost our main thing in common. So now what? This will take awhile to pass and I'm not sure how I will make it through. I still have some friends that are trying to help me but just like when I was teased as a kid, the worse things always over-rank the good things. As Vivian said in Pretty Woman, "The bad stuff is so much easier to believe." That rings very true.  At least for me anyway. Which is why I have many of the problems that I have. I could get 10 people saying something good to/about me but that one that says something mean/bad is the one that sticks in my head.

Average people love to be average because nobody bothers them.

Dare to be different. Dare to be hated.

I don't know, maybe average is better. Maybe different is better.

Tonight, I am hated by some and loved by others, but all I can 

comprehend is that I am hated...still.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

A New Day.

Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around. 

Tomorrow is a new day.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Not such a good day.

Had my review at work today. I actually got my raise months ago but they are just getting around to the actual reviews. In a nutshell, I do my job great. I know what I am doing and I do it. They love having me around. Then she says she wants to discuss something that isn't on the actual review paper. Uh Okay...Apparently I don't look good enough. My appearance. My Hair. Not enough make up. She's not sure if it's because I am having my gallbladder out next week and I've been feeling sick or what. Now, I KNOW I am not beautiful, but I do attempt to do my hair and make up EVERYDAY. I guess I don't do either very good and look sick. Great. Thanks. I can't help it if I am not a nice olive complexion with flowing hair! I will give her some credit. She did say it's improved a little bit. Swell. So I am only look half as bad as normal.

My husband is livid. He can't believe someone would say such a thing. Isn't it illegal to base a review on what someone looks like. Who's standard is it. They actually wrote that down? That's a lawsuit...
It wasn't written down. It was "off the record".

Just one more thing to be depressed about. 

So, now I guess I need new hair, make up and clothes. Not sure where to come up with money for those when I am having surgery next week that I have to pay for and private school for Natalie to pay for, and a credit card to pay off.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Happy Easter!


Peter Cotton-Tail just left our house. He left us some goodies!


He put some candy, 2 matchbox cars, and a note in her basket. He also got her 2 outfits for her doll. He dropped off 51 eggs in the back yard.


For Daddy, he left a giant Dark Chocolate bunny, Cadbury Eggs, & some Reese's. For Mommy, he left some white chocolate candies and some Starburst Jelly Beans. He left a new chew dog for Muffy and a can of moist cat food for Shyloh!

Those roses you see. Aren't they pretty? Natalie and I got them at Walmart today for $3.50 and the little white flowers were $2.50. We already had the vase. Not a bad bunch of flowers for $6.00!