Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Laugh Love Lose

I rarely laugh and I try to love but have trouble with that sometimes. Losing weight is hard and it rarely happens for me.I am not a very happy person.  Live Laugh Love is more than that though. Tonight I think I am losing it. I am losing the battle of what life is supposed to be like. You're supposed to Live, Laugh, Love, and Lose (in a good way) somewhere in there too. Today was one of the worst days of my life. Not THEE worst, but ranking very high up there.I lost a very important piece of my life.  I lost a lot of friends today. I fear that I have lost one of my best friends. I've thought that for awhile though. I think she drifted away from me but I think she thinks I drifted away from her and what happened today makes it harder for us to be brought back closer together again. We lost our main thing in common. So now what? This will take awhile to pass and I'm not sure how I will make it through. I still have some friends that are trying to help me but just like when I was teased as a kid, the worse things always over-rank the good things. As Vivian said in Pretty Woman, "The bad stuff is so much easier to believe." That rings very true.  At least for me anyway. Which is why I have many of the problems that I have. I could get 10 people saying something good to/about me but that one that says something mean/bad is the one that sticks in my head.

Average people love to be average because nobody bothers them.

Dare to be different. Dare to be hated.

I don't know, maybe average is better. Maybe different is better.

Tonight, I am hated by some and loved by others, but all I can 

comprehend is that I am hated...still.